Sexual harassment at work: How to spot red flags and where you can seek help

When it comes to sexual harassment in the workplace, incidents that appear to be harmless tin amount to something more sinister.

If your male colleague frequently calls you "beautiful" or "sexy", is he just being friendly?

If your dominate is all touchy-feely with y'all – and simplyyou is that inappropriate?

If a senior colleague repeatedly asks you out only you're not interested, can you say no without creating a bad impression?

For women at the receiving end of such behaviour, the biggest question they might be asking themselves is: Am I thinking besides much or is at that place more than meets the center?

Victims are more than hesitant to study the incident for fearfulness of repercussions on their career, performance evaluation and twenty-four hours-to-mean solar day environs.

According to a articulation survey released in January this year by Enlightened and market research company Ipsos, two in v workers in Singapore reported encountering workplace sexual harassment in the past five years.

These ranged from incidents such every bit unwelcome touches to receiving remarks about their appearance.

The results from the 1,000 respondents also revealed that the harassment came from either a peer or a senior person in the function.

The Tripartite Brotherhood for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP) handled effectually 80 cases of workplace harassment from January 2022 until December 2020.

Well-nigh four in ten cases of sexual harassment involved the victims' supervisors or superiors, said Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP). (Photo: iStock/Marcos Calvo)

Co-ordinate to a TAFEP spokesperson, almost one in five cases were related to sexual harassment, while others were related to verbal abuse, bullying and physical abuse at piece of work.

And four out of 10 of the sexual harassment complaints involved the victim ' s supervisor or someone college up in the hierarchy.

IT DOESN'T Simply Accept Place IN THE Office

Workplace sexual harassment can happen outside the organisation, too, from say, a client who could be either a peer or a person in authority.

This is what happened to Amy (not her real name), who was assigned to a articulation projection between her company and another last year. Her function saw her reporting to the other company'due south supervisor; she also had to attend face-to-face discussions.

Those meetings started off innocently plenty but took a worrying turn when the supervisor tried to impact, hug and even kiss her, said Amy's lawyer, who requested anonymity. Amy too declared that 1 fourth dimension, the human being tried to hug her from behind while there were others in the room.

This went on for several weeks.

Amy considered lodging a police written report and reached out to the lawyer for advice. She as well told her husband and made a study to her company'south Human Resources (HR) section.

After a warning letter was issued by Amy's company, the accused told her "not to be and so sensitive", Amy's lawyer recounted to CNA Women.

"She said that he was the kind of person who had a sense of entitlement and assumed that people whom he was physically shut to shouldn't accept information technology as an human action of harassment, but as a course of friendliness," said the lawyer.

Gaslighting happens when harassers endeavour to convince their victims that their "well-meaning" intentions, such every bit friendliness, were misunderstood. (Photograph: iStock/baona)

Amy was and so traumatised by the feel that she asked for a transfer to another department, cut off her contact with the other company.

Workplace sexual harassment can too still happen fifty-fifty in a work-from-home (WFH) arrangement via a different setting such as Zoom, WhatsApp or Telegram.

According to market research firm Milieu Insight, incidents of workplace sexual harassment that can motion online include:

  • Uncomfortable questions about 1's personal life and advent
  • Unsolicited and persistent, one-sided flirting
  • Lewd remarks
  • Sending unsolicited pictures and messages of a sexual nature

"WFH arrangements may be a temporary shelter abroad from unsavoury workplace behaviours, just the heightened digital connexion during this time ways that employees can nevertheless very well be susceptible to sexual harassment," said Stephen Tracy, Chief Operating Officeholder of Milieu Insight.

THE Determination Not TO Study WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

While Amy chose to speak out against her harasser, there are women (and men, too), who choose to keep quiet most the abuse.

They practise so for various reasons and there are complicated emotions in play. Nearly common is the fear that people may non believe them.

Then, there's the worry that they may accept to leave their job if the story comes to light. And what about the gossip that ensues, both in the company and in the industry?

When it comes to speaking out, women worry that people may not believe their story, or that it may end up backfiring on them. (Photograph: iStock/asiandelight)

Information technology'due south non uncommon for women to deny their feelings of unease – it feels somewhat easier to convince themselves that they are merely over-imagining things, or that if they're able to cease thinking about it, the discomfort will go away.

In the Enlightened-Ipsos survey, only three out of x respondents said they reported the incidents, citing a "desire to forget" most them, assertive that information technology was "not astringent enough" or that there was a "lack of testify".

"More often than not, individuals talk themselves out of believing that they were existence harassed," said John Shepherd Lim, Primary Wellbeing Officer at Singapore Counselling Middle (SCC).

WHAT CONSTITUTES WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

In a survey that Milieu Insight did in July, 90 per cent of Singapore respondents picked "inappropriate physical contact", followed past "flashing" (87 per cent) and "requests for intimate favours in exchange for career advancement" (85 per cent) when asked what they considered sexual harassment.

Co-ordinate to the Milieu Insight survey, victims would most commonly plow to their friends to talk about their experiences of sexual harassment at work, with fewer seeking assistance from colleagues or the authorities. (Photo: iStock/Farknot_Architect)

UN Women defines sexual harassment as "any unwelcome sexual advance, request for sexual favour, verbal or physical conduct or gesture of a sexual nature or any other behaviour of a sexual nature that might reasonably exist expected or be perceived to crusade offence or humiliation to another".

When such conduct interferes with piece of work, it creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive piece of work surround.

SCC'southward Lim said the red flags of sexual harassment, which people tend to overlook or talk themselves down from, include:

  • Constant intrusion of personal space. Although no actual concrete contact might take been made, an individual might intentionally sit uncomfortably close to you.
  • "Accidental" brushes that cause y'all to feel uncomfortable.
  • Demeaning jokes made near women in general or specific women in the office, with the harasser laughing it off and calculation a disclaimer that no impairment was intended.

Workplace sexual harassment tin be "extremely hard for victim-survivors to speak out about", said Margaret Thomas, president of AWARE. "The unfortunate reality is that many victims who speak out confront retaliation and reputational damage, which can take negative consequences on their careers."

WHEN POWER POLITICS ARE AT PLAY

Power politics refers to an imbalance of power between the perpetrator and victim, said Lim of SCC.

"Often, nosotros detect that situations in which the perpetrator is in a position of authority are more catchy, as victims are more than hesitant to report the incident for fright of repercussions on their career, functioning evaluation and mean solar day-to-day environment."

And power politics tin can be tough to manage, said Lim, as information technology is not uncommon for bullying and harassment to come from individuals in authorisation.

"Victims frequently feel helpless as their superiors accept substantial influence over their work environments and workload," explained Lim, adding that information technology can exist even more than troubling if the superior has a good reputation amid other employees.

"This causes victims to face the likelihood that they will not be believed or taken seriously," he said.

Gossip and rumours add together to the victim's distress too, said Lim.

Emi Nietfeld, aformer Google employee, wrote about her experience with workplace sexual harassment in The New York Times in April. The human being was her boss and "in charge of her day-to-day work".

During her time at the tech company, Nietfeld said she became concerned about her squad lead's behaviour when he addressed her as "beautiful" and "gorgeous" even after she asked him to terminate.

She as well alleged that he took reward of their 1-on-one meetings to inquire her to ready him up with "a tall blonde", preferably "someone who looked like her".

"When I talked to outsiders virtually the harassment, they couldn't understand: I had i of the sexiest jobs in the world. How bad could information technology be?

Women generally practice not have reasons to make things upwards, as there is much for them to lose and fiddling to gain, said AWARE on an Instagram post. (Photo: iStock/PeopleImages)

"I asked myself this, too. I worried that I was taking things personally and that if anyone knew I was upset, they'd think I wasn't tough plenty to hack information technology in our intense environment," she wrote in the article.

" Saying anything about his behaviour meant challenging the story nosotros told ourselves about Google being and then special," she added.

More ofttimes than not, individuals talk themselves out of believing that they were beingness harassed.

Nietfeld didn't tell her manager nearly the squad atomic number 82's behaviour for more than a year and simply spoke out when she suspected that he "would become an official manager".

When she finally filed her complaint with Hour, she said: "Google went from being a corking workplace to being any other company: It would protect itself first."

Nietfeld'south story is a instance in signal on the complications of speaking out, that even after making the difficult determination to seek help, it may terminate up backfiring on the victim.

MAKING THE DECISION TO SPEAK OUT

Your feelings are valid, whether or not you feel that your experience "isn't big plenty" to mention or experience information technology'south worth getting help for.

"Information technology is of import to note that when it comes to harassment, a strong indicator lies in how the individual makes yous experience," said SCC'due south Lim.

If you lot are unsure most whether to speak out, Lim'south advice is to vocalise your discomfort and take activeness to ensure that the individual treats you respectfully whether or not this falls within the legal boundaries of what harassment entails.

Well-nigh often, we experience disrespected and manipulated when our personal boundaries have been crossed, he said.

For example, y'all could let a colleague know that yous feel uncomfortable with him sitting as well close to you during meetings, whether done intentionally or not.

Be aware of gaslighting too, Lim brash, which often occurs during a confrontation with the harasser, who could attempt to convince the victims that his intentions were misunderstood or that the incident did not happen at all.

Annotation the style the other political party responds to your feedback during difficult conversations like these, Lim said.

A red flag can wait like individuals who "excessively defend their actions" with "no signs of remorse or intention" to respect the boundaries.

WHAT IF Yous WORK FOR A SMALL Company?

AWARE's Thomas told CNA Women that many small-scale and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs), which make up a vast majority of companies in Singapore, have environments that are ripe for corruption of power, including sexual harassment.

"They lack the resource for or practise non perceive the necessity of a dedicated man resource department," she said.

"Their informal culture also creates an unequal playing field where the managers' decisions, behaviours and treatment of employees is overly contingent on their interpersonal relationships," Thomas added.

These companies, unlike larger corporations, besides lack the wherewithal to get support, such equally engaging external assist to write policies and providing employees with preparation on appropriate workplace behaviours, Thomas explained.

"Information technology is of import for organisations to put in place a clear protocol for workplace harassment complaints, which does not discriminate according to rank, reputation, or gender," said John Shepherd Lim, Primary Wellbeing Officer at Singapore Counselling Centre (SCC). (Photo: iStock/Cn0ra)

"I rely on my by feel, and I don't have too much training or expertise on the topic," said an possessor-manager during an interview last year done by AWARE and an independent consultant, as part of a survey to empathise the challenges of SMEs in preventing and managing workplace harassment.

They interviewed seven SMEs from dissimilar sectors, including e-commerce and home cleaning.

When someone relies "purely on intuition" to base the prevention and management of workplace harassment, it tin "crack the door open for victim-blaming attitudes", said Thomas.

When information technology comes to harassment, a strong indicator lies in how the private makes you feel.

One of the reasons why victims don't report or speak out about sexual harassment at piece of work is the conventionalities that nothing volition exist done whether by their company or the authorities.

According to Lim, while there are no standardised processes across Singapore companies, there are general guidelines that about harassment complaint investigation procedures adhere to, such as responding to complaints seriously and promptly, while ensuring confidentiality throughout the process.

The fear of speaking out increases, especially if yous are dealing with someone of a higher say-so – or if it's your dream task. (Photograph: iStock/Pheelings Media)

"It is true that when structures are not prioritised and procedures are not fabricated clear and implemented decisions on whether or not to go along with investigations are contingent on the personal discretion of specific individuals, which can be rather skewed," said Lim.

When that happens, a company faces the chance of failing to support the victim even afterwards they have taken the difficult step of speaking out about their discomfort, he added.

At the same time, organisations are "starting to observe" the importance of preparation and awareness about the issue, and Lim has seen an increase in the number of companies requesting for talks and preparation on workplace harassment, for both employees and managers.

During these sessions, specific harassment and bullying behaviours are addressed, and common harassment scenarios are also discussed.

"While employees get aware of how they can protect themselves and respond to harassment from their colleagues, employers also have guidelines on how they can respond or set in place nix-tolerance policies to create a safer workplace environment for all," said Lim.

WHERE Y'all Can TURN TO FOR HELP

Voicing out your business concern to your straight supervisor (if he isn't the perpetrator) is a good outset step, said Lim, especially if it concerns members inside the team.

" This gives (your supervisor) a heads-upward and an opportunity to have a chat with both you and the alleged perpetrator, before this escalates upwards," he explained.

Supervisors would commonly also appreciate knowing what'southward going on in their team, in case they are asked about information technology, Lim added.

But if the harassment does not stop, you can then escalate information technology to Hour, he brash.

However, if you feel uncomfortable about reporting the incident to your supervisor, director or HR (or if such channels aren't available in your visitor), yous can get assistance and advice by calling TAFEP at 6838 0969 or filing a report at www.tal.sg/tafep/contact-usa , said a TAFEP spokesperson.

Even if yous are however trying to make sense of things that happened, you can seek assist and get advice from various channels and back up groups in Singapore. (Photo: iStock/bymuratdeniz)

According to TAFEP, they may too refer you to other organisations who may be better placed to provide legal advice and counselling.

AWARE'southward Workplace Harassment and Bigotry Advisory (WHDA), which is aimed at women, provides a "bespoke" service to assistance sexual harassment victims figure out their options and what they can do next.

You can call their hotline at 6950 9191 or e-mail them at whda [at] aware.org.sg , even if you aren't sure if what you lot've experienced is in fact harassment or if you are still trying to brand sense of it, said Enlightened's Thomas.

For example, the WHDA may be useful for victims who work in organisations without a HR department or who don't have the capability to have things forward.

Moreover, non every victim wants to lodge a police report as it can be a very arduous process that can take years, said Thomas. "The aforementioned goes for pursuing a lawsuit."

The informational also works with Enlightened's Sexual Assault Care Center on cases involving sexual violence, in case the client requires more than intensive emotional back up, said Thomas.

Should the sexual harassment continue, you can phone call the Ministry building of Manpower's hotline at 6438 5122 for more communication on what to do, suggested SCC's Lim.

You can also utilize for a protection order under the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA), said Thomas. With a protection society, the alleged harasser must stop harassing or stalking you lot and/or remove any harassing publication, for case, delete an online post.

"Still, POHA does not provide an employee protection from retaliation in the workplace nor does it impose any legal responsibilities on employers to prevent harassment or accept activeness against workers who may have committed an offence," added Thomas.

Editor'south Note: This story has been updated to reflect the clarifications from TAFEP near their role in referring people to other organisations for legal advice.

CNA Women is a new section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you take women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg .

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Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/women/workplace-sexual-harassment-help-what-do-283131

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